I'M NOT LEAVING I'M JUST DISTANCING.

gue tau, sahabat itu bakal selalu ada disaat lo susah maupun lo seneng. Mereka ga bakal ninggalin lo. tapi, i feel so lonely sometimes, i might around so much people. But, i still feel alone. Terkadang gue ngerasa they don't really care about my presence. Mereka ga peduli kalau gue ada atau engga.

I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE I'M SOMEONE ELSE SECOND CHANCE. gue cuman dibutuhin kalau mereka ada perlunya doang sama gue, and it hurts like hell. gue ga pernah diajak bicara kecuali gue yang nimbrung di pembicaraan mereka. "AM I REALLY HAVING A BESTFRIEND?" yes i keep asking that question to myself. Mereka cuman care sama orang yang mereka sayang. POOR me for not having someone who loves me.

life is..

hidup itu aneh yah.. kadang lo ngerasa bahagia dan beberapa menit kemudian lo bisa aja tiba tiba sedih. lo ga bakal pernah tau apa yang terjadi 5 menit kemudian. sometimes, gue ngerasa ga ada yang peduli sama hidup gue, malahan gue kadang ngerasa gue sendiri ga peduli sama hidup gue, tapi terkadang ketika gue ngerasa down banget theres a people who back me up and help me to stand up to face the problems.
hidup itu ga selalu buat kita ngedapatin apa yang kita inginkan. sometimes what you want the most is what you better without, contohnya dari hal sederhana aja. misalnya lo pengen banget beli satu baju yang lo liat di mall terus lo ga punya cukup duit buat beli, pasti lo bakal kecewa dan yang lebih rumit lagi ketika lo suka sama seseorang namun orang itu ga suka sama lo, itu bakalan sakit banget .

pernah ga lo ngeliat orang dan lo merasa bahagia?the way they smile makes you happy. mereka cuman senyum doang, itu bisa buat lo bahagia banget. mereka mungkin bukan keluarga lo, tapi lo ngerasa deket banget sama mereka sampai sampai lo ngerasa mereka menjadi bagian dari diri lo.maybe thats called best friend. mereka mungkin orang asing yang lo kenal dan suddenly they change into someone special in your life.

gue terkadang ngerasa kalau lo ga bisa ngukur seseorang dari luarnya. People once told me that you cant judge a book by it cover, dan itu bener banget. Mungkin, lo ngeliat seseorang bahagia banget mereka bakal ketawa, bercanda bareng teman teman mereka, atau ngelakuin segala hal yang menurut lo mereka bahagia. but you'll never know what they've been through.Maybe they just good at lying, they hide their pain inside them and they just dont want people call them weak. Karena terkadang mereka lebih memilih untuk memendam perasaan mereka dibanding menceritakan kepada orang orang yang ga peduli atau yang pura-pura peduli sama mereka.

hai..

long time not blogging... there are so many things i want to tell..
first, i just had broke up with someone. i mean someone here, not "si bule". and it's very sad, but i know i have to moving on.
second thing, now i am grade 11. it means,  I'll part with my old friends and meet new friends. ughh, I hope my new friend will be good and exciting as my old friend.
tomorrow is the first day of school after the holidays.
ok, lets stop talk about my new grades.

you know what? sometimes i hate my parents so much, they're sucks sometimes. they want me to do what they say. ewwh they're so annoying. but i stil and i will always love my parents

EVERYTHING'S CHANGED......

ya...only phrase that can describe the situation that is happening now.how to be a friend of someone who is not known. someone whowas once highly and always showed his love for us turned intoenemies and never spoke to us again ... a friend who was tryingto be someone else just to achieve fame. I just can not understand, why they can so quickly forget all those memorieswith the people they once loved? is it really that easy to replacesomeone who is meant in your heart? valuable person in your life? maybe some of them think "yes" but for me to forget or to forget the memories with them was very difficult, no matter how hard I try to not think about it the more I remember and miss those memories with them.

I miss them .... friend

have you ever experienced something very very not you understand? like you've lost someone very dear to you, more thanlosing a girlfriend or boyfirend, more than getting bad grades in school. Well Ifeel it. I feel like a lost brother, even though they are just (maybe)consider me as a friend. but they are more than that I think. theyare like brothers  and sisters when I fell, and always faithfully accompanied injoy and sorrow.

but ... I feel different things when we began to enter high school.they change, they initially remain there, we often gather together.but lately we seldom. plus not to mention other things. I feel like losing them. I know I probably overkill for writing this on my blog.but just here the place where I can tell you what I feel. not because I did not trust other people or my other friends. but this is too hard to say. because sometimes something that is very easy to writethan to explain it ..I just want them to feel what I feel. friendship can not be said of afriendship if we can fight together to get through all odds not onlymy own struggle. I hate this feeling, really!

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